By Steve Kayser - on July 25th, 2011

Do You Suffer from Business-Related Anxiety Syndrome?

THIS IS NOT A PHARMACEUTICAL AD

Business-Related Anxiety Syndrome strikes down 98% of employees, executives, educators and entrepreneurs. It wreaks havoc on healthcare costs and wellness programs. It’ll probably require a new stimulus plan just to begin treatment of the rapidly spreading pandemic.

HOW IT BEGINS

It starts with a noticeable body quiver, then a shimmy, then a shimmy-shimmy shake, followed by a mental earthquake.

CAUSAL AGENTS?

It’s been proven in cubicle-hell lab environments to be triggered by too much taradiddle, twiddle-twaddle, flim-flam flummery, corporate gobbledygook, fast-talking business speak.

FULL-BLOWN SYMPTOMS

When the disease progresses, it makes the victim want to scream and shout and turn their minds inside out.

Serious cases report a compulsion to read James Joyce’s Ulysses, but only the last eight sentences by Leopold Bloom’s (the main character) wife Molly—eight run-on sentences with no punctuation and 24,000 words long.

AFTER THAT?

Really? After that? Eight run-on sentences with no punctuation, 24,000 words long? Even Βεελζεβούβ Beelzebub himself would be hard pressed to come up with something worse.

But …

THE END IS NEAR—MELT DOWN

Believe it or not, there’s more. And it’s worse. The business-related anxiety syndrome-ridden patient obsessively demands product marketing brochures, news releases, and even deep-dives into “about the company” boilerplates.

Madness. Pure madness.

THE CHEESY CURE?

Others have successfully inoculated themselves against business-related anxiety syndrome by listening to the E xpert Access Radio broadcast live on 55KRC-The Talk Station. So join hosts Steve Kayser and Jay McKeever every Sunday at 4:05 p.m. Eastern Standard Time (EST) to hear live, in-depth interviews with business leaders and bestselling authors from around the world. They share their ideas, insights and inspirational stories to help in your life of business or the business of life.